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吴宓:参透红学也学不会如何去爱

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发表于 2017-11-10 00:25:00 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
[摘要]虽然他堪称一代国学大师、“红学“先驱,还著作等身、桃李天下、声名远播,但比起他的文学造诣,世人似乎对其过分曲折的爱情史更有兴趣。

青年吴宓
所谓性格决定命运,吴宓的人生轨迹便是此句的完美应证。关于吴宓的性格,身为其高足的钱钟书曾有过这样的评价:“吴宓从来就是一位喜欢不惜笔墨、吐尽肝胆的自传体作家。他不断地鞭挞自己,当众洗脏衣服,对读者推心置腹,展示那颗血淋淋的心。然而,观众未必领他的情,大都报以讥笑。所以,他实际上又是一位‘玩火’的人。像他这种人,是伟人,也是傻瓜”,“他总是孤注一掷地制造爱,因为他失去了天堂,没有一个夏娃来分担他的痛苦、减轻他的负担。”
虽然当时的钱钟书年少轻狂,对吴宓嗅之以鼻,言语间多是讥讽,却也准确地抓住了吴宓的性格软肋。

晚年钱钟书
吴宓治学虽极为严谨而生活却相当散漫,是一个奇特而又矛盾的人。
他是一个古典的浪漫主义者,酷爱《红楼梦》,常自比为“紫鹃”,因为紫鹃对林黛玉爱得最纯粹,他曾在报上写过《论紫鹃》一文,文章的尾句便是“欲知宓者,请视紫鹃”。他对《红楼梦》研究,造诣极深,享誉中外,凡是听吴宓红学演讲的人,无不屏息凝神,如醉似痴。他能一人将林,王,薛,贾演得活灵活现,惟妙惟肖。时人赞誉:“郭沫若与吴宓的报告,倘能一字不误记录下来,便是第一等绝妙好文。”1947年,吴宓到西安讲学,知识界更是奔走相告,盛况空前。
吴宓似乎是将《红楼梦》中的浪漫携入红尘,他对所有的女士都是百般呵护,如果在街上遇见行驶的车辆,他总是举起手杖示意,直到身边的女士全部通过方才放行。他似乎对世上所有的女性都有一种发乎情止乎礼的喜爱,他曾说过这样一句话,让人难以忘怀:“除了学术与爱情,其他问题一概免谈。”吴宓爱过的女性很多,在其日记、书信、诗词等私人文字中出现过的就不下十几位,而其中最为人们熟知的大概就是毛彦文。

毛彦文(左)吴宓(右)
吴宓几乎用尽一生苦恋毛彦文。自从27岁那年第一次见到毛彦文(英文名海伦),毛彦文便留在他心中。虽然当时毛彦文已是吴宓同窗好友的爱人,而吴宓也即将迎娶陈心一。之后,毛彦文被恋人抛弃,吴宓竟毫不顾忌妻子感受,对毛彦文展开了疯狂的追求。毛彦文似乎正是他梦中那个拥有共同语言、心灵上亦可相通的女性,何况她还大方干练、风情万种。
最终吴宓与结发妻子离异,对毛彦文开始了漫长而浓烈的爱情攻势。

吴宓与第一任夫人及女儿
一次,吴宓按捺不住爱情之火对他的折磨,公然在报纸上发表了自己的情诗,其中有“吴宓苦爱毛彦文,九州四海共惊闻”句。一时舆论大哗,认为他有失师道尊严,不成体统,众人决议让耿直老实的金岳霖去劝劝吴宓,希望对方以后多加收敛。按金岳霖晚年的说法,“新中国成立前也有思想工作,那时叫‘劝劝’”。于是,金岳霖怀揣“劝劝”的想法,稀里糊涂地找到吴宓说:“你的诗如何我们不懂,但是,内容是你的爱情,并涉及毛彦文,这就不是公开发表的事情。这是私事情。私事情是不应该在报纸上宣传的。我们天天早晨上厕所,可是,我们并不为此宣传。”话音刚落,吴宓勃然大怒,拍着桌子高声呵斥道:“你休在这里胡言乱语,我的爱情不是上厕所,厕所更不是毛彦文!”金岳霖听罢,不知如何是好,顿时木头一样呆呆地站着,任凭吴骂了半天。
吴宓就这样沉醉在毛彦文的魅力中。他疯狂地给其写信,倾诉爱慕,可谓苦苦纠缠,由于大龄未婚困境,毛彦文终于答应了吴宓的求婚,可此时的吴宓却动摇了,他不肯到美国完婚,一边态度强硬的要求先订婚,同时向另一位女子示爱,知道真相的毛彦文毅然离去。1935年。37岁的毛彦文与65岁的前国务总理熊希龄结婚,相比吴宓不切实际的浪漫,熊希龄的确是不错的归宿。得知此讯,41岁的吴宓,躲在“藤影荷声之馆”撕心裂肺写“忏情诗”。诗成之后,还刊之报纸,“劝君切莫谈恋爱,此事无利有百害”。

毛彦文(左)与熊希龄(右)
如此情深,似乎永生只有这一场恋爱了,但40岁后的吴宓,继续与众位或貌美或有才情的女子恋爱。谈起恋爱来,他深情浪漫,但作为儒者,他又情感节制。迂腐与浪漫、旧道德与新道德在他身上并存,他似乎始终都处于矛盾和纠结中。
清华女生高隶华不过利用他得到了职位;女诗人卢葆华,曾婉拒过吴宓,后又主动追求,他却远离。对于他,容易得到的东西总是不那么好的。比如他后来与张尔琼恋爱,到了谈婚论嫁程度了,天真的吴宓却将给毛、高等女友的情书给张看,以为对方更能知自己用情之深。张尔琼很生气,吴宓却在写给她的道歉信里说:为使道德与爱情两全,要与毛接洽,“如果毛彦文肯嫁当然最好,如果毛彦文不嫁就专心和你结婚”。结局可想而知。

晚年吴宓
1937年,熊希龄在香港病逝,吴宓又重新展开了对毛彦文的追求,一度还追去香港。一封一封情书,有时一封长达万言。毛彦文不为所动,无数的信被原样退回,此刻的毛彦文已经在吴宓心中完美的无人可及。甚至在毛彦文去世,我们仍能在遗留的《吴宓日记》中看到那种复杂的情感,有悔恨、有遗憾更有化不开的情谊。
吴宓一直自视为贾宝玉的知音,一生所患惟爱痴,同样的多情与深情,同样的内心纯洁,但吴宓固有的性格障碍,却也使他注定得不到真正的爱情。
吴宓简介
吴宓(1894年8月20日-1978年1月17日),字雨僧,一代国学大师,早年曾留学美国,并获哈佛大学文学士、硕士学位。回国后,他为教育部特聘一级教授,在任清华大学国学研究所所长时,聘请了一代宗师王国维、梁启超、陈寅恪、赵元任四位名流为教授,培养出了曹禺、钱钟书、杨绛等众多中外语言文学研究大家。
吴宓还是最早将《红楼梦》推介到国外的权威学者之一,他曾用中英文发表过《红楼梦新谈》等著作,推动了国内外红学研究。在国内红学界,他与胡适之、蔡元培、俞平伯、景梅九、周汝昌等红学专家齐名。
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